Among the many parenting failures that we all hate to admit, we often come along a parenting success that we as mothers become so proud of! There's no better feeling than attempting at that tip or trick with your little ones that actually shows positive feedback and succeeds. I'm sure every mum out there will never forget her moments of glory, the moments that makes her so proud to be a mum. On that note, let me share with you my biggest parenting success to date. The success I applaud myself for in secret, well its not a secret anymore now i guess.
Well, like any first-time mum, finding out I was pregnant was so overwhelming. Off course, the excitement kicked in, but along with the excitement, my anxiety and worry came rushing right in. In nine months I was going to be a mum, whatever that meant to me at the time. Well, first thing I thought was mums make sure everyone is happy right? Cliche yes, but so true mummies. A happy mum has always reflected on her home. I remember growing up, my mum being happy meant we were all happy that day. And so, I was determined to do just that; to keep my baby happy, even before I met him. Mind you, my baby was connected to me at the time. He was connected to me through an umbilical cord yes, but he was also connected to my emotions, my blood, my health, my movement... to my every heartbeat. He could hear my voice, listen to my words, even those words I spoke to myself. Not only that, but he was connected to all of me, 24/7; no breaks or alone time. Just like that, my body became someone else's home.
A home that I was responsible for its stability, comfort and environment it was in. This sense of responsibility is not only terrifying, but a huge gift God has granted me that I needed to live up to. Who was I to be responsible for something so huge? I needed to deserve the blessing that was given to me. Keeping my baby happy was the only way I knew how. In order for my baby to be happy, it meant that I had to be happy first. A happy home will eventually raise a happy baby. So I took a vow to myself, to be worthy of Gods gift to me, to make sure I was as happy as I could possibly be for my baby's sake, before mine.
To make sure I was happy, I didn't suddenly go spending my money on lavish vacations and enjoyed daily bubble baths (things i wouldn't mind at all). But I knew my mission was not to change my outside world, but to work from the inside, out. At the end of the day, this is where my baby was, inside. If I was to truly be happy, I needed to work on my inner demons. It was time to face my worst nightmares, stare them in the face and win them over. I have always had a short temper that I needed to pay attention to and a very demanding, stressful full-time office job that I needed to stress less over. I started taking things lightly, making sure I never lost my temper. This was the most difficult, yet the easiest thing I ever had to do. It came so easy as I wasn't doing it for me, my purpose was so much bigger that what I am. My purpose was for a being, a gift that I felt so blessed to have. Only when I had something bigger than myself to work towards, did i conquer every challenge I was faced with. Challenges I lived with for years. The most incredible things happen when you have the right intent behind them.
Successfully, I never lost my temper, not once in my ten months of pregnancy. Something I never in a million years thought I was capable of doing. When something upset me, I gave it its five minutes and let it go. I made sure to stress less over matters at work and saw things in a different light. I learned to breathe and to look at the positive sides to every situation. I began internalizing the reasons behind why things bothered me and reflected on each issue as it arose. Not only did I learn a lot about myself, I discovered that by taking the time to make sure things didn't affect my emotions negatively, I saw how unworthy of my aggravation they were. Nothing was really worth me processing negative emotions over. My mind and body were so much more deserving than to inflict such negativity upon them. Not only did my self love and worth rise, my sons life and happiness became more of a priority in my life, preparing me for when he was born. This attitude became a part of me, and continues till today.
Maintaining this mindset, I have taken most postpartum matters lightly. I was prepared to conquer the hardships for my sons sake, for his wellbeing and happiness. It wasn't about the amount of sleep I was (or wasn't) getting, or the activities I could no longer do, my energy was solely focused on my sons happiness. My duty was to make sure he was happy. I learned what it means to be focused on something bigger than myself. To be selfless, love and act unconditionally. I had my twenty-five years of freedom to inflict negativity upon myself; now I could no longer remain that same person. I had to be better, for him. I had to be better as my form of gratitude towards God. I look at my son today, and can comfortably say, I have one happy baby. He's truly as happy as I have the capability to make him be. I hope to continue to better myself and discover new ways to inflict positivity upon myself, and others. The world needs more positivity, needs a new heart and soul to love more, and live better. So today, I can say, this has been my biggest parenting success to date. May God grant me the life and health to share more with you as we grow. Whats yours?