How To: Love Your Body Better

January 5, 2018

To start off the year, I want to talk to you mummies about something I have personally struggled with and something I see many struggle with every single day. The more women I meet, the more evident this problem presents itself. As a resolution for this new year, it's something I have decided I need to work on as a woman and a mother to my child. That something is our constant growing struggle with body image. 


Its mind blowing the amount of women that go to extreme lengths to change their physical appearance. Today, we live in a world where altering how we look on the outside has taken SO much of our time & efforts that if put into something worthwhile, could actually change the world. If having bigger lips translated into a bigger heart and higher cheekbones translated into higher ambitions, we could actually go somewhere. If we want society to accept and acknowledge us as strong independent, righteous women, we need to do this for ourselves first. We can't judge each other based on your physical appearance and expect the rest of the world to judge us based on what's inside. 


2017 was such a huge year for women, exposing more than 100 men following the Weinstein fallout. Refusing to be seen as easy targeted objects, as soulless bodies with an open invitation for mistreatment; we made history. We stood up for ourselves for the very first time in countless years. We finally said no; we proved we have a voice and we made ourselves heard. This was such an inspiring year, motivating each and every woman to never keep silent and accept disrespect upon herself; no matter how big and powerful the offender is. When we stand together, our strength is unbeatable. Yet, we still objectify ourselves. I'm not just saying this either, these are really shocking supporting statistics.


As 2017 was the year of woman empowerment and breaking the silence, it was also the year of 15 percent increase in Botox searches, 85 percent growth in microneedling shots and 35 percent increased interest in non-surgical nose jobs. As I am not by any means against plastic surgery, these numbers are very concerning to me as a woman. They reflect a reality that is very concerning to me as a young mother raising her children in this era. Have we become social media slaves? Have we lost sight of our true selves in our search for the perfect selfie or beach pose to lure in more likes? Altering our bodies has now become so accessible, so easy that monthly visits to the plastic surgeon has somehow made itself into our routine. 


This phenomena always felt so distant to me, until one day I found myself booking an appointment to go fix my nose (that did not need fixing) and looking for ways to enhance my looks, that did not need enhancing. This is when I realized the magnitude of what is happening to us women these past years. I then stopped and reevaluated my decisions, what was I doing? When did this become something I was so willing to do? Mind you, I have a serious phobia of blood and needles, yet, these thoughts have somehow made their way into my mind without ever remembering I invited them in. They crept through my worst fears and justified themselves as necessities in my mind. They were so powerful they cured my trypanophobia!


This is the most powerful thought that has ever conquered my mind. Have images of perfectly constructed instagram models slowly crept into my mind or was it social medias constant reminder of how many approvals 'likes' I need to feel some sort of physical validation? Or maybe it was the Kylie Cosmetics ads with the perfectly shaped lips that looked nothing like mine. In all cases, something has made itself home inside my mind, projecting judgements on how I should look verses how I already do. Something has taken control of me, of us. This is very dangerous ladies, we need to stop and take a breather. 


While it is no problem at all fixing a flaw that is affecting us, whatever it may be. We need to stop and think first, of why we are making these changes to our bodies. Why are we making this monetary and physical commitment to alter our appearance; Is it to follow a trend in order to look just like, well everyone else? What if curves and big lips aren't the 'trend' anymore, what then... Will we get ourselves into more alterations to fit next years new trend? What affect is that putting on our bodies, what message is that sending to our children, to all those young girls out-there. We are contributing to a destructive habit that leads to unacceptance and self destruction. 


Unless we need to make a critical change to our appearance for mental and emotional health purposes, we need to take responsibility for our actions. We need to learn self acceptance and to love, compliment and empower other women more to strengthen each-other mentally and emotionally. We need to make a change in the way we judge and see ourselves and others. In order to be seen for the intelligent, strong, successful women that we are, we need to start treating ourselves with more love and less hate. We need to be appreciative of what we have, as others are born without eye-sight, without an arm or a leg, with serious physical incapabilities than a thin lip. We need to be grateful and teach our children to be grateful. Fixing the outside of our bodies has never fixed inside our hearts and minds. The most beautiful people I have met in my life are those who have spoken beautiful words and who wear the most beautiful hearts. Who love the most, and live the fullest. 


We are spirits having a human experience, not humans having a spiritual experience. We need not to forget our true essence of being. The bodies we are so consumed with we will be leaving behind. Only our souls move on to live forever. My resolution this year is to invest the time and energy I have left in my soul, and not let the physical world deceive me into thinking its more than what it is; that its there to stay when its not. I hope to see a world of more beautiful souls than beautiful faces. A movement needs to be made in that direction for a better future for ourselves and our children. To all the beautiful mummies out there, lets work on having full hearts and righteous souls. Let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Lauren Jauregui, “If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies how different our ideals of beauty would be.” 



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