The last thing we want to think about after 9 months of bloated anticipation, is not getting to enjoy our baby. The thought of it not being under our control is devastating. That this depressive state would take over & leave us with sadness and resentment towards our baby. Its a thought mothers cannot bare, but is constantly in the back of our minds; keeping us from fully enjoying the arrival of our little bundles of joy.
As i searched the internet left & right, I repeatedly read articles that told me there was so little we can do to avoid this depressive phase from happening. If its genetic it's bound to happen; that its the cause of the dramatic drop in hormones. The more i read, the more and more helpless i felt. Something inside me felt wrong. We were expected to just accept the fact that matters are basically uncontrollable & out of our hands. This unsettling feeling lay within me for days.
As a firm believer in self consciousness and our strength as women to take control of our own lives, this didn't sit well. I wasn't going to accept once again, the world telling us we are incapable of doing, being and becoming what we want to. I firmly believe that our thoughts and feelings are always in our hands, despite circumstances & outside influences.
So statistics tell us that 80 percent of women suffer from baby blues while 10 percent of them go into severe depression. These statistics make us women feel that if we're not part of the lucky 20 percent, we're destined for this. Unaccepting to just sit & surrender my fate, I had to get on the bottom of this. And who knew better than mummies who have already gone through this? In Egypt we have an old-saying, "Ask the experiencer"; and so i did.
"I can see clearly now the rain has gone..." I literally heard Johnny Nash sing in my mind from excitement. After talking to so many brave & mighty mummies, it all suddenly became too clear. I've got good news mummies, we're in control! With one very simple step, you can help avoid PPD.
Do yourself a favor mummies & set realistic expectations! We get too overwhelmed with the amount of work, lack of sleep & no 'me' time that we delve into depression. Know that all the baby diaper commercials and picture perfect family posters are just that, marketing. They won't show you barely having time to shower & luxury meaning getting to eat with both your hands. So no, having your hair done with a full face of makeup while you excitedly change your baby's diapers is not on the menu.
There's a reason they call the first 3 months of an infants life the fourth trimester. Our baby's are growing at a significant rate & require our undivided care and attention. You need to give yourself & your baby this time to fully adjust to your new lives. This can only be done by setting realistic expectations.
Expect to change your perfectly picked outfit 2-3 times from spit-up before leaving the house. Subscribe to Netflix, Hulu or Shahid as your week-end 'going to the movies' days are over. Download Postmates, Otlob or any local delivery service app available, as your weekly night-outs aren't happening anytime soon. Your mind will automatically be conditioned to think of your baby first, and you will always come later. Thank God for a mothers unconditional love for her child.
The ups and downs of life are inevitable, but preparing for the introduction of your new life is crucial to maintain your sanity. By doing this, you will get to enjoy every moment without being too overwhelmed or surprised with whats to come. Communicate any feelings you may be experiencing with your loved ones at all times, they've been there & can definitely help put things into perspective.
Make sure you get yourself educated before your baby arrives. There are many YouTube videos, Blogs & articles to help prepare you. Newborns bond better with calm mums. So keep calm, you're about to become a new mum!